The hard times.

Do you remember when I started writing about a love story, so passionate and beautiful and wrong, but this couple just can't get enough of each other, crazy head over heels about each other and just can't wait one more days to see each other again?

Yes. We're still together now.

But just like every other stories that you've heard before, even a happy story gets ugly sometimes. Just like Cinderella being mistreated by her step mom and her step sisters before she meet her Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Just like Juliet have to feel the pain of losing love of her live thinking she wouldn't be able to see him again before they died together. Just like Rose DeWitt have to see Jack Dawson giving up his life for her so she could make it alive.

Yes, this is the part when everything gets ugly.

I mean like, really ugly.

Its not like I never expect it I know that this time like this could happen any day in our relationship. But what I never expect is how ugly it would be.

Everyday is a struggle for us. Everything seems hard and impossible to reach.

The sweet talks turning into argues

The warm cuddles turning into fights.

The love songs turning into slamming doors.

The wet kiss turning into silences.

The last 20 months was definitely not easy for us. 

Its never been easy for us. 

I dont know what happened or where did we go wrong, but one thing I know for sure, no matter how ugly the situation is going to be, 

I will never be ready to lose him.

Never. 

Y.

When I'm cursing him and act all tough, 

he kissed me and told me he loves me. 

When I'm quiet, 

he asked me what's wrong baby?

When I ignore him, 

he gave me his attention. 

When he sees me at worst, 

he told me I'm beautiful. 

When he sees me starts crying, 

he just held me and didn't say a word.

When he sees me walking, 

he sneaked up and hugged my waist from behind. 

When I'm scared, 

he protected me and made me feel safe.

When I tease him, 

he teased me back and made me laugh.

When I don't answer for a long time, 

he reassured me that everything is okay.

When I grab his hands, 

he held mine, and play with my fingers.

When I bump into him, 

he bumped into me back and make me laugh again. 

When I tell him a secret, 

he kept it safe and untold. 

When I look into his eyes, 

he didn't look away until I do. 

When I get mad, 

he hugged me and didn't let me go. 

He stays on the phone with me even if I'm not saying anything. 

He treats me like I'm all matters to him. 

He stays up all night with me when I'm sick. 

Watch my favorite movie together or my favorite TV show even he thinks it's stupid. 

He gives me the world. 

He lets me wear his clothes. 

He lets me know, I'm important. 

When I'm run up to him crying, the first thing he said would be,

"Whose ass am I kicking, baby?" 

And that's how we've been falling in love with each other. 

I love you, iko. 

P.s : Get well really soon baby! 

So, would you........?

"We're gonna live together, and we're gonna love together. 

And we're gonna have so much fun. 

And a little pain. 

And we're gonna live a life that's just gonna make other people die with jealousy, 

Wishing they were us.." 

I <3 You

I love how I'm always missing you. Wanting you with me.

I love the fact of knowing how hard I push you away sometimes, you're always going to be there.

I love and hate how I can never stay mad at you.

I love the way I still get excited to see you.

I love how annoying you are sometimes.

I love knowing you'd rather die before you cheat on me. 

I love your name, and all your little quirks. 

I love your small brown eyes. 

I love how you want me to have ur children one day.

I love how we're so open with each other and nothing is awkward.

and how you know almost everything abt me and all my fears, and you're still here. I love the way you make me feel safe all the time.

I love the way you hold me back tighter. 

I love how I still get butterflies at the moment ur name appears on my phone, and I love how you kiss my nose.

I love the way you look shirtless and knowing that you love it when I kiss your back.

I love how much you love your mom and your little sister, I love how much taller you are than me, and how sure you are of us. 

If it really has to be this way, 

and if really this is what's best for everyone, 

then why does it hurts me this much? 

And if I was really okay, 

then why do I have to tell myself everytime that I'm okay? 

Remember...

The one who loves more is the weakest. 

But the weakest is the happiest. 

"She may cry. She my laugh. And you may be suprised if you know what she keep inside."